I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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