Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
