Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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