Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
