I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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