Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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