Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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