No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
