i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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