i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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