Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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