Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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