ya dads aren't the best wingmen
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
