You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
