You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
