Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
