My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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