What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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