She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
