I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
