3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
