He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
