I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
