you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
