How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
