so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
People in love make me want to vomit
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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