I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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