he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
