I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
should my penis look like a turkey
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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