I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
