I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
