Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I touched a dick in church today
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
