i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
