I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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