That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
