I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
