I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
