Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
