When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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