champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
