dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
