Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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