i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
