Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I looked at my own cervix.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
