Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
