I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We are two peas in an std pod
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
