Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
