An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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