so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
