And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
